Coffee Beans, Pinto Beans, Lima Beans… Beans, Beans, Beans!

Listening to a podcast I heard Coffee Meets Bagel mentioned. It’s a free dating app where you are given a “bagel” or potential match every day. You can either “take” that bagel or “pass”. You can also “discover” bagels in your area based upon parameters that you set.

While it is billed as free, CMB requires paying “beans” for almost every interaction. You want to like someone? Beans. You want to “take” them?

I tell you what, this app is full of beans. I haven’t had a match since the first week I signed up. There are like 14 guys on the site in my city. If I use my normal age parameters, that halves.

In addition, I made the mistake of passing on my first bagel before I reviewed what the site had to offer. I’m sorry cute scarf guy, but this stupid app won’t let me go back and un-pass on that mistake. I tried to work around it, but the one friend that I convinced to go down this rabbit hole thought “giving” a reject was sketchy*. I just wanted her to find out who he was.

The other weird thing of note?  Beans**. You can do things to earn beans, like get a friend to join or follow the app on Twitter or Instagram. You can also visit the Photo Lab for beans.

What’s that you say? The Photo Lab is where you put two photos out there for the CMB to judge which is better. 95% of the time, I’ve noticed that folks choose the picture on the right. My guess is that corresponds to the number of right handed users clicking on pictures with their thumbs to get beans. Cheaters never win unless it comes to beans.

Also, why can’t I meet the guys that put their pictures through the photo lab? Damn it I hate this app.

I dislike most dating apps, but this one did nothing for me. I even considered trying to match with someone I didn’t like to see how that worked, but that seemed dishonest… just like those folks tapping left for beans.

I think this app will soon join Bumble and Happn in the place where apps go to die.

 

 

*To be fair, all her matches were of the undesirable redneck flying the Confederate flag in the background of his profile pics or some douche canoe racist flying a Nazi flag in his profile pics… or maybe it was another friend that said “giving” was off putting. I can’t remember; there have been numerous natural disasters since I first signed up.

**I do realize I have already mentioned the beans.

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