I might be having a meltdown.
The bank, the financial aid department at my grad school, and the lack of a comprehensive syllabus in one of my classes are all contributing factors in my current high levels of stress and anxiety. Trying to put myself out there on a dating app* isn’t going to alleviate any of that**.
I’m exhausted all the time, which equals not clear thinking, which makes me forget what the whole point of writing this particular blog was supposed to be about. It also means little things are setting me off, and constantly shoving food in my mouth.
So while I shove this king sized Snickers down my gullet, I’m reading messages in my OKCupid junk mailbox, thinking about who knows what because my thoughts keep changing. I’m also creating terrible playlists, because it’s just whatever I feel like and sometimes one song on repeat… and I’m trying to get my brain back on the train track by pushing caffeine and then reading discussion topics from like 30 other over achieving grad students who’ve decided a one paragraph topic should be a page with citations.
So mea culpa if I don’t blog regularly as well as for this random forgotten point blog… wait, I think it was going to be about trying to lose weight, not lose my mind, and maybe take a break from constantly selling “me” on dating apps. Then I signed up for another app in lapse of good judgement***, so that’s not going to work.
*Let’s be honest. Multiple apps actually.
** I’m also gaining weight from stress eating, which is seriously affecting my confidence.
***A lapse of good judgement and an insatiable curiosity.