Occasionally, I’ve come across a profile in the “activity” feed on OkCupid that speaks to my soul. Not the “this person looks tolerable” or “hey, we answered the same way” on a question, but someone who’s political viewpoints align with mine, they are civic minded, they like the same books/music (and maybe can suggest some more), etc. It’s like the friggin’ stars aligned long enough for me to discover them and decide they are my future partner.
Yes, I am crazy for thinking that, but I’ve thought the guy who looks good in a fuzzy sweater would make a good boyfriend… In my defense, after talking to a series of duds and going on a date with a guy who I’m pretty sure was tweeking, you’d start thinking the thinking guys that look good in cotton-wool blends were potential soulmates too.
I’ve met a couple of really great people online, but that’s the limit. As I’m in a relatively lowly populated city, OKC tends to generate matches* in the activity feed that are about two hours away. So when Benji** in his Rivers Cuomo retro black frame glasses popped up pictured volunteering at youth center and set my heart a flutter, I wasn’t surprised that he was a bajillion light years away***.
Benji was pretty fantabulous. Bookish, up with politics and the news, he liked old timey square dancing, and composed music for some of his favorite literature. This guy was every dork girl’s dream on paper, and he could write some damn awesome emails.
This guy was OKC gold, and I didn’t stand a chance****.
While I didn’t score (or even attempt to score) a date*****, I think it is heartening to find these little gems. Sometimes it feels like you search forever for some sort of connection, romantic or not, just panning through the sludge for something or someone who shines brightly. When you find one, even if you know it’s not for you, it gives you hope.
I have hope, but if that doesn’t pan out, there’s always cats.
*At least it used to. I have no idea what it’s been doing lately.
**No, that’s not his real name.
***A only mildly gross exaggeration.
****Remember, he’s a million miles away, so I can’t win him over with my sparkling personality.
*****We exchanged emails for a several months, and now I occasionally see his posts on the Book of Faces.