Defining a relationship is one of the roughest* things to manage at the beginning of courtship. You see, after every period of dating there is the dreadfully awkward point where women** feel the need to establish*** what the status of the relationship is. I’m kind of at this point. Only I’ve not even been on a first date yet.
Sooooooooo… I got messaged via Plenty of Fish by this guy, we’ll call him Ichabod. Friendly messages passed back and forth for weeks, weeks turned into months, and now months have turned into almost half a year. His messages were almost like clockwork, first always during the lunch hour, then after business hours, and then evenings.
I’ve been wondering what’s going on for a while now.
I kind of felt guilty going out with or talking to other people, but I used my common sense**** and told myself “I have no commitment to this person” and “I don’t expect him to be only ‘dating’ me”. I’d been on the brink of asking him what was up, but then things happened***** to where I didn’t want to lay any unneeded pressure on.
Now it’s been a good five months, and I can’t take it anymore. I’m not getting any younger, and my patience is narrowing. I’m cool with it just being a friendship, but I need to know that it is just that. The conversations have gone on long enough that actively pursuing anyone else seems wrong… unless we are just pen pals.
Also, grad school is confusing enough without being confused about a relationship or non-relationship.
*I’m sure there are others, but this just seemed especially painful.
**And probably men.
***Communication is important.
****Admittedly, I don’t have a lot.
*****None of your business things.