It Ain’t Happn’ing

I signed up for a new online dating app! Happn.

Happn uses your phone’s GPS to let you know when you and a potential date have passed each other. At first glance that seems super creepy, but it’s not like Plenty of Fish. Instead* it tells me that at some point during my day I passed someone while picking up my tea at Starbucks.

It also tells me when I pass someone in my car. I don’t know if that’s because the technology gods are trying to give me a break, or if it just grabs your location data superfast. “Yes, you and Brad both like to drive by Discount Tire on Sundays. It’s a match!”

You then have the opportunity to like them, and if they like** you, you can chat. Easy peasy pumpkin squeeze-y? Maybe.

In the first week, I think I matched/passed four guys. In the first month, it was the same four guys. I think I’m up to five or six now. None have them have been overwhelming, but I “liked” a few of them just to see where things might take me.

Nothing.

Two months of nothing.

I’m done. I don’t want this app to keep sucking my precious data. I think that unless you live in a big city, let’s say over 100,000, this app is going to be a dud for almost everyone.

 

 

*When I remember to look at it.

**In this app it’s called “crush”, but that doesn’t even sound right.